You like me! You really LIKE me!!

Please allow myself to introduce... myself.

1. Age: I'll be 28 September 24th. Is that right? Geeeeez.
2. Height: I'm gonna call it 5'5" and I'll thank you not to argue with me.
3. Weight: This morning I was 251 lbs. *shudder*
4. General clothing size: I'm a size 20 on top and bottom. That's the one thing that I enjoy about my body. I'm fat, sure, but I do pretty well as far as proportions and whatnot.
5. How much You'd like to lose: Well, my FIRST goal is to lose 50 lbs. Due to recent medical drama, I'm prescription-dependent on a drug that doesn't mix well with pregnancy. Jesse (my husband) and I really want to start our family, so this has been kind of a bummer. My neurologist said that losing weight *can* help and maybe I'd be able to go off the medication if I lost as little as 25 lbs. But he doesn't want me to get knocked up until I've lost 50 because pregnancy has a way of causing flare-ups with this particular condition. Bleh. So long story short (too late) My short term goal is to lose 50 lbs, but I really need to lose about 80 lbs to be comfortable with myself.
6. Your plan: Wait... no one said anything to me about a plan. They just told me to lose weight. Gee, thanks guys. I'd never thought of that before. Okay, but actually, I'm just going to try to focus on doing more stuff right. Like, eat more fruits and veggies, exercise more, drink more water. Not focus too much on what I'm not allowed to do, etc. Disclaimer: This plan is subject to change without notice.
7. What's been holding you back so far: Oh geez. Well, I have a really bad knee that makes it difficult to do a lot of exercising. Plus the fatigue that comes with my medical drama. Plus, I haven't always had a TON of motivation because I have a great hubby who loves me exactly as I am. Plus, I've just kind of accepted that I'm never going to look like a supermodel and that realization has led to the highest self-esteem I've ever had. I'm comfortable. Except that I'm not really. I can't paint my own toenails because my ginormous stomach gets in the way. And other things like that. If we want to get REALLY deep and personal, my mother is obsessed with her weight. I inherited a bit of that and in highschool I actually was anorexic for a while. To get over that, I pretty much had to not care AT ALL about my weight and the result is what I am today: A girl that's so fat her body hurts just about ever time she moves. A girl whose weight has become such a problem that she's not allowed to get pregnant. Ugh. So I guess I'm a girl of extremes. It's hard for me to think about losing weight without going all nutso about it.

So that's it. Man, I sound like a headcase!