If you really wanted to know.

My chest is getting smaller or at least it appears smaller (I was at my parents last night and had to look twice but I know that my whole body is feeling smaller) and I am down to 245. Go smart ones!

Cravings

Just wondering what you do when you have a craving for food that is BAD for you? I am totally craving little Caesars pizza. . . Right now. . .Right Now. . .RIGHT NOW. I am resisting but I can only do so much when my body says I WANT SOME! I know it is bad for me and will make me miserable (literally) and yet my brain is stuck on it. STUCK bad. I feel like for every healthy step forward there is an unhealthy step back. I don't wanna screw up my habits.

Do you give in?
DO you make a healthy version?
Do you have a healthy version of Little Caesars pizza?

While we are on the subject, anyone have a really good recipe for whole grain/wheat bread for bread makers?

Smart

I decided to try a less expensive version of nutrisystem which equates to smart ones. This has been especially important cause I need to eat 3 meals a day. I was getting lazy and not eating. I also think it is a matter of control. Food is something I could control. I use to chop my hair off when I felt like controlling things. . .but I don't have much hair to chop off since I want to grow it out a little longer. Sorry for the digression. I am seeing a counselor and have managed to eat 3 meals a day.

Something for breakfast and smart ones for lunch and dinner. It is actually working for weight loss. $2 a meal for lunch and dinner is also very much cheaper than eating out.

steph's top 25... also, check out that ticker down there

That's right! Check it out, um, girls!

So here are my top 25 girl-power work out songs - at least right now. I thought I'd share, because I'm awesome like that. You're welcome. ;)

Note.... these are pretty intense? Beat dropping? What what? I use them for walking/running/biking (if I biked...) - all that stuff. I can't listen to music while I lift. I have to concentrate.

1. When I Grow Up - Pussycat Dolls (shut up, it's my #1)
2. Shake It - Metro Station
3. The Distance - Cake (mm... cake...)
4. Feel Good Inc. (Stanton Warriors Remix) - Gorillaz
5. Gold Digger - Kanye West (ok, so I listen to the GLEE version....)
6. Rie y Llora - Celia Cruz
7. We Trying to Stay Alive - Wyclef Jean
8. Making Me Nervous - Brad Sucks
9. Ain't No Good - Cake
10. Stop the Rock (Apollo 440 Original Mix) - Apollo Four Forty
11. Cold Rock the Mic (Instrumental Version) - Apollo Four Forty
12. I Kissed a Girl - Katy Perry (Like I said, shut up!)
    
13. Hot N Cold - Katy Perry
14. Hey, Soul Sister - Train
15. Bohemian Like You - Dandy Warhols
16. Espacio Sideral - Jesse y Joy
17. Fidelity - Regina Spektor
18. Sophisticated - Stereo MC's
19. Makes Me Wonder (Radio Edit) - Maroon 5 (Incidentally on Serena Williams' workout mix on iTunes)
20. Snow (Hey Oh) - Red Hot Chili Peppers
    
21. Get Down on It - Kool & the Gang
    
22. Honey - Moby
    
23. All Alone - Gorillaz
24. Tired of Being Sorry - Ringside
25. Karate - Kennedy

BONUS! Cool down songs (for various degrees of cooling down. lol):

1. Go it Alone - Beck
2. Break Down - Handsome Boy Modeling School (feat. Jack Johnson)
3. Fresh Feeling - Eels
4. Love is Free - Sheryl Crowe
5. Right as Rain - Adele
   

nutrisystem, working out and jeans....

I have to admit, I'm a bit worried about going off NutriSystem.... now that I'm starting to see some results, I'm worried about going out on my own. But Molly and I are going to do South Beach... which I'm SURE is healthier (and cheaper!)... and I want to do it.

I just want the EASE of Nutrisystem!

Anyway, I've been working out. I signed up for the gym at my work. Its' $8/month. I could pay $10/month and go to Gold's, but working out as soon as I get off work is actually a good motivator for me. I like it.

Though I had to skip last Friday. I had REALLY bad neck pain and I was only at work for 3 hours.

And I have the whole gym almost completely to myself. I get off at 4:30 and almost anyone else gets off at 5.... so I usually get 30 minutes alone if anyone is going to come work out. That's about 15 minutes of arms and then 30 minutes on the treadmill walking/climbing hills.

I'd like to get to where I get up in the morning and work out for an hour in my room... with the DVD I have. I think that would be insanely good.

So on top of that all, I bought jeans TWO SIZES smaller than the last time. I expected to get one size smaller than my newest pair since those were falling off me. But 2 sizes is amazing! They are a LITTLE snug, but I think I can get to where they are loose and comfy in a couple of weeks.

yeehaw!

supporting the girls

http://www.enell.com/index.php

Seriously girls. These bras are AMAZING. I bought one about 4 months ago when I started trying to be more serious about working out (HA!).... I get back and shoulder and arm aches really bad when I walk or anything. But this is the BEST type of bra you can get if you're amply blessed... It's a compression bra so it holds the girls IN.... no bouncing and sagging and bad stuff...

I highly suggest getting one. I don't have all those upper body aches anymore. It's perfect! It's a bit expensive, but NOT if you view it as an addition investment. I mean, you invest in good shoes, right?

So there you go.

I have a problem. . .a food problem

The gist of the story is that I am addicted to food. I see it, smell it, think about it and I end up CRAVING it. Not a good thing considering Little Caesars is down the street and around the corner from my house.

I truly believe that along with anorexia and bulimia there is a less often talked about problem. I don't know if there is a medical term for it but I'm calling it food addiction. I have diagnosed myself with it. . .really. . .what doctor, nurse, nutritionist, or even trainer would know unless they followed you around 24-7 keeping tabs on EVERYTHING you put in your mouth. It's just not going to happen.

So I am taking on a new approach. . .well it is new to me. Something I VOWED never to do in my life. . .that was when I was delusional, young(er), and DUMB! I am now counting calories. I thought that was just for FREAKS. . .turns out I was the freak. It is my first day doing so. I am recording everything that goes in my mouth and figuring out the calories. I need to see how much I eat initially in order to see what my caloric intake should be.

I want to take care of this problem because I want to be around for much longer. I want to be healthier and this is another step.