You, Too, May look like a MODEL!!!

Sweet 16: Plus-size model Chloe Marshall reaches Miss England final

By Katie Franklin and agencies

Last Updated: 1:55am GMT 22/03/2008

A 16-year-old girl has defied the super-thin modelling status quo by becoming the first size 16 model to be selected as a finalist for the Miss England competition.

	Chloe Marshall: "It's possible to be beautiful and not a standard sized zero"

Chloe Marshall, from Guildford, beat seven other slimmer girls to the title of Miss Surrey and will now compete in the national finals.

Chloe, a beauty therapy student, said she decided to become a model to give a confidence boost to other "curvy" girls.

"It's really exciting, I'm really, really happy. I'm lost for words, I started to cry and everything. I'm over the moon," she said.

"I wanted to go through to the Miss England finals to break through the stereotype that you have to be tall and skinny.

"I wanted to make a bit of a statement. When I studied the other entrants for the Miss Surrey competition I concluded that pretty as the contestants were, they were equally all uniformly blonde and Barbie doll like.

"I want to show girls out there that it is possible to be beautiful and not a standard sized zero.

"My mum is really happy and proud of me that I am doing something not just for myself but other people as well and my friends are really supportive, they can't stop going on about it."

Miss Marshall, who is 5ft 10in tall and has a 38DD bustline, has been signed by Models Plus model agency.

Stevie Walters, of Models Plus, said Chloe had a "luscious" figure and a bright future ahead of her.

"Chloe is gorgeous-looking and we are sure she will be snapped up by fashion companies who want to project a realistic and achievable image to their customers," she said.

Chloe's success comes as the debate about the use of size zero models in the fashion industry continues.

The debate was sparked last year when a Uruguayan model, Luisel Ramos, 22, died of heart failure after starving herself.

In November, a 21-year-old Brazilian model, Ana Carolina Reston, died from anorexia.

The deaths prompted organisers of Madrid Fashion Week to ban underweight models, while Milan followed suit with a code of conduct to stop anorexic-looking models being used in shows.

The British Fashion Council, however, refused to ban size zero women from taking part in London Fashion Week.

Doctors and women's groups have expressed concern that the use of underweight models encourages anorexia in the industry and sends a dangerous signal to girls.

SOURCE HERE

Granted, I actually would like to get down to size 16 but this is STILL a good example of being bigger (but not huge) but still beautiful and healthy. Healthy matters much more than size. Just, you know, keeping it in Perspective.

Because today I broke down at the pool and bawled in the dressing room. I just happened to catch a glimpse of myself, sideways in a mirror, in a gray shirt and jeans, and I saw, quite LITERALLY, an ELEPHANT.

Like, I looked over and thought, "I'm an ugly ugly ELEPHANT." and started to cry and sob loudly. Even though I had JUST worked out for an hour and was feeling pretty good before. It just HIT me... or, you know, charged at me with mean tusks. I don't know what happened, but it was so clear, I wished I was dead. I hate depression so much.

When Dove Cries

Okay, a few things that I wanted to share. First of all, for awhile, since I have been very sedentary lately, I have been feeling like I am gaining an enormous amount of weight. As I told my psych, I feel like I can actually FEEL my body swelling and puffing like a marshmallow in a microwave. It makes me feel sick and hate myself so much. But since there is no scale down stairs in my parent's house where I am currently sort of quarantined, I just keep GUESSING. "I've probably gained, like, 10 pounds this month." "I definitely am over 300 now" etc.

I have been scared to LOOK at a scale at my doctor's appointments and the one time I DID and it wasn't showing me ballooning, I still felt no better because as it's not MY scale, it's not really a fair comparison, you know?

ANYWAY, the happy news. Yesterday, I was able to go home for a little bit and even downstairs and saw my scale. Taking a deep breath I stepped on it and I have LOST weight! My ticker is actually CORRECT! I gained weight awhile ago and didn't change it to reflect it and I am back to that! Yay!

I AM doing water aerobics again, it has been hard and it HURTS, but I am doing it... BUT it's been awhile, you know? So even though I don't eat much normally anyway, I am surprised to see my weight pointed on the DOWN-side, eh?

ALSO, I think, even though this is just from, well, Dove, it is important. I saw it on HeatherBella and Dirt's Blog and REALLY liked it.


I want to, like, make some Young Women's group watch it. Along with Dove's older one that you've probably already seen. Seriously. Good things to remember with all this weight loss stuff. Healthy is good. Crazy is not.

[edit: Today I clicked to see "This Video is no longer available." SO I went and got another copy. Because dang it all, it's good!]

Who's Favorite Dessert Looks Like THAT?!

When I went to the doctor the other day it was the Endocrinologist in the same office as my Neurologist. Dr. Princess is (or rather WAS) my Endo and was the one who ordered the MRI I just had. However, he quit. He left his practice to Dr. NYB. She didn't fluff her hair like Princess or anything that stupid... but she also didn't want to look at the MRI (which was expensive!). At all.

She said to take it to some other doctor. Because of the Lesions and stuff we WILL take it to the Neurologist but the reason to have it NOW instead of in a few months when the neurologist wanted it was to check my pituitary for THIS doctor. Grrr. ANYWAY, all she talked about was my Diabetes and losing weight.

Both of these things ARE big issues in my life, OBVIOUSLY. I am going to have to go on insulin, like needles, which I am just sick over. Stuff like that. But the thing about the weight loss that fully was pissing me off was this new doc's assumption (because she does not KNOW me at ALL) about my diet and acting as if the IDEA OF LOSING WEIGHT might NEVER have occurred to me.



Like, SHOCKER, you mean *I* am overweight? I had NO CLUE! And then her ideas.

"You know what you can do? Stop eating candy. Oh, or maybe switch to diet soda?"

She honestly said that. Yes, like I eat CANDY on a regular basis.

And I haven't bought full-sugar Coke in YEARS, and that was long before I was diagnosed diabetic. GOOD GORDON. I am FAT, not a moron.

She recommended I walk 15 minutes a day. I walk at least half an hour a day. At least a mile most days. I also do 45 minutes of water aerobics.

Basically the visit was very frustrating (especially since it was , oh, 10 minutes after reading my break up email with Fresno. BLEH. MAJORLY emotional.). HOWEVER, the one thing she said that was different enough that I may heed is going back to Weight Watchers. Like MEETINGS... the whole shebang.

I actually had pretty good success with Weight Watchers years ago (pre-mission). I just didn't think it would be that helpful now that I have to count carbs too with the glucometer and such. But I DO think it might help. Ans so, well, I might just try it. Because, well, structure is a good thing.

HOWEVER, related to the Weight Watchers thing, well, THIS is HILARIOUS. It's like an edible Threadbared. So freaking funny. And GROSS!

Because if you don't laugh you cry.

A lot.

You are my Density...

You Are Destined to Struggle With Your Weight

Like most people, you find it a little difficult to stay at at weight you're comfortable with. If you change a few habits and make food less important, you may find the struggle hardly exists anymore.

Are You Destined To Be Overweight?

Well, YEAH.

But actually, I wanted to share a little hooray for me today. Usually I take Saturday as a bit of a day off (of extra working out... I am often very active Saturdays with merit badge classes.) as my Pool closes early on Saturdays, like at 11. But today I woke up and went right there. So, yeah. Yay for me.

Just keep Swimming Just keep Swimming...

I have been doing something GOOD for a change! I have been sticking to my doctor prescribed sleep schedule, in as much as I can control that. The falling asleep I can't do... but I have been waking up at 8 am which, for me, is very early. AND I have been doing water aerobics BEFORE work!

So, I also bought a new swimsuit as mine is falling apart. Ordered it at Lane Giant because before the 29th it's 40% off! It was still frustrating to use the SIZE chart, yes, even at a plus size store, it made me want to cry. So it was not all a positive experience. BUT my current suit will NOT last the everyday abuse it will TAKE to get to a happier size. So I bought another big suit. SIGH.

It's hard to feel happy about accomplishments when the steps to GET there are so MANY. Bleh.

But still...
water aerobics!
waking up!
Trying hard to be positive even when I feel like crying!

Friends Help Me Feel Better (real ones... not the show)

Every Silver Lining has a Big Fat Ugly Cloud. Such is the case with the steroid injections used in my nerve blocker. I LOVE not having the constant headache from hell, but the 2 main side effects? 1. Weight gain 2. Significant rise in blood glucose levels. So that part has been making me feel pretty crappy lately. And with depression and stuff... yeah. Bleh. Also, I think some of it has just been the sort of letdown AFTER the fun stuff of the weekend. HOWEVER, I am not saying things are going to be perfect tomorrow (but as FlyLady is saying this year "Progress, NOT Perfection") but after simultaneous pep talkage from CC (via IM) AND Fresno (via phone), well, I am feeling better. THEREFORE, my new resolve includes the following...

I will work out at the pool tomorrow (Thursday) unless I have an interview that conflicts but nothing else is important enough to conflict.
I will work out at the pool Friday.
I will walk on Saturday.
I will take my meds and get a doctor's appointment with my general practitioner, Dr. HasaPsychoWife to get meds adjusted and changed and such.
Also, this may sound insane, but I have decided to try a zeolite. Yes, I think I know what I am doing. I am getting it from my friend Granola, and I have heard good things from her, her mom, and my aunt.

And mostly, tomorrow I plan on eating smart, taking my pills (I didn't today), and exercising. THE BASICS. Yeah.